2006 Oscars Fashions
Back by popular demand, I am here to assess the fashion sense of the stars at the 2006 Oscars. Actually, this year the stars were rather boring. They weren't really trying to look great, just playing it safe. To be sure, some went out on a limb (and usually fell off), but for the most part, safe and sure.
"Bird" York - One of the nicer looking of the night. The color was different and I liked the hair a lot. I'm not a big fan of large earrings, but with her long hair over her shoulders, they work and the bag is a great touch.
Zandra Rhodes - I hate to assault you with Endora so early, but that's the luck of the draw. This "fashion" designer looked so bad, but not necessarily because of the dress. After the initial shock, you relaize the dress isn't really bad, in fact, on the right person, it might be nice. Unfortunately, SHE IS NOT THAT RIGHT PERSON!. For Pete's sake, she's way too old for the dress and for that hair and what the heck is up with that bracelet and that necklace?
Charlize Theron - Normally a stunner at the awards shows, she still looks beautiful. Not that anyone would know - who can get past that giant bow on her shoulder? She must have agreed to wear this because she couldn't hear the low-talker of her fashion designer.
Will Smith - Looks good as usual, but I'm still not a fan of the long tie, especially when it looks like a tie you might wear to work.
Dolly Parton - Come on, did it have to be this tight and i'm not talking across the chest, either? To give her credit, she looks incredible for her age, but does she need to look trashy? As a matter of fact, she does. She has said, "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap." Anyway, the color was great and the bag was a perfect touch. Her hair was a mess, though and she really doesn't need throw her chest out, although she might not be able to help it.
Dolly Parton, redux - Here she's wearing her performing outfit. Something like this (not pants, though) would have been so much better than the painted pink dress she had on. She seems to have done her hair, too - even it magically got longer in 30 minutes. Maybe we'll call her Dolly Potter.
Uma - Looks really nice, though a little more color might have been nice. The hair is way to severe and a necklace would have complimented the low kneckline.
Dustin Hoffman - Just like Will Smith, he looks good, but not great. Epitome of the boring night we had fashion-wise.
Tim Burton and Helen Carter - Did I just say boring? This guy is a mess. The suit is all wrong, the tie sucks, he needs a shave and a haircut and lose the sunglasses, moron!! I didn't think Helen was as bad as most people made her out to be. For sure, something is wrong with the face-hair combo, but I can't put my finger on it, either. The dress was a little goofy with the train, but I like the bag that matches his shirt. She did the best she could with having to go with Mr. Freakzone.
Felicity Huffman - The dress was ok, just not on her. I think coming off Transamerica, she wanted to prove she is, in fact, a woman - so she went with a plunging kneckline. Unfortunately, she does have a smaller chest that a lot of men (think Michael Moore), so she came off more of a boy than a woman.
Terry Pheto - Who? Anyway, that dress is scary. The Klingon battle symbol in blood red on the front is just terrible and I don't like color combo on the bottom either. The bust doesn't look like it fits either, I think she packed on a few pounds after the initial fitiing.
George Clooney - Why does he have to look so good? He's a whiny, little liberal and I so much want him to look bad, but he's perfect always. Tux and a bow tie, boys and you will always win.
Taraji Henson - Girl, this is the Oscars, not your high school dance. The dress is way too casual and short, too. From the waist up, she looks good, but down, it isn't working. The bottom hangs funny, too - it make her look like she's hiding some mondo hips.
Hilary Swank - Like Felicity, she too once played a boy in the movies. But, that's the only similarity. She looked incredible. The dress fit her like a dream and it was beautiful, too. Her hair was that classy casual so many were trying to get to and failing and the lack of adornment didn't distract from the total package.
Steve Box and Nick Park - Please, what the H-E-Double toothpicks? The acadamy should take the statues back from them for wearing bow ties like this.
Jack - His usual awards outfit, great but for the glasses. I've given up on hoping one day he'll lose the red shades.
Seymour Huffman - What can you expect from a man named Seymour? The white tie on black on black didn't work for me and could someone please lend him a comb? At least he shaved.
Jada Smith - Beautiful. The color was outstanding, the fit perfect (if you've got show it) and the bag is great. To be picky, I didn't like the pulled back hair and some more jewelry would have been nice, but not too much.
Sandra Bullock - I thought she look good. Too bad her dress had that distracting meshy-thing on the front and if you're going strapless and your hair is up, you need a knecklace. Keanu looks messy with that hair. Too bad, he can look really good in a tux and bow tie.
Jamie Foxx - That shiny shirt makes you look like a pimp, mister.
Samual L. Jackson - Boy, has this man cleaned up over the years. I remember the purple tux days and I am so impressed. He's wearing the long tie, but the collar is pulled in and it looks classy. I NEVER thought I would be saying S.L. Jackson was one of the BEST dressed men at the Oscars.
Jane Seymour - Looks wonderful. She's been to enough of these to get it just right everytime. I wouldn't change a thing.
Salma Hayak - What a beauty! The color of the dress was stunning and her curvacious body is all the adornement it needed. My only complaint was I didn't like the shoulder straps - she probably needed some extra support, but I didn't like the way it looked.
Salma Hayak - Didn't we just see her? I just wanted to look at her again -you can never have too much Salma
Jennifer Aniston - Looked ok, the dress fit well, but the knecklace was too long and that hairstyle's got to go, girlfriend - it's so 1990's.
Russel Crowe - The thug cleans up real nice like. See what happens when you shave, comb your hair and dress nice? You become respectable.
Jennifer Lopez - Diva here has put on a bit of weight ("nice!") and the dress is excellent - good color and great fit. The knecklace and bracelet are just right. But the hair!! It hurts MY eyebrows thinking how tight that is.
Continued