Reese Witherspoon - She has been looking great for years now and this was no exception. I thought the dress might be a little to matronly for her, but I'm betting she wanted to play it safe because she was destined to win and have two hundred thousand pictures taken.
Jessica Alba - Usually looks really good, but I wasn't happy with this for two reasons. The bust looked bad - it looked strained to me and I hated the hair. I thought the rest of the dress was beautiful, I loved the design work on it.
Rachel Weisz - Really nice, but again I don't like the shoulder straps, just like I didn't Salma's. Like Salma, it looks like she needed the extra support, and normally that would be enough for me, but I think a nice knecklace would have been a good touch with all that black.
Juhn Mhyre - He wore a long tie with a bow tie shirt. Idiot.
Queen Latifah - The dress is nice, but she's a mess. Her hair is just hanging there like laundry on the line and her makup is uninspired. She had a breast reduction a few years ago, but it looks like she's trying to get them back by eating like Homer Simpson.
Larry McMurty - I'd look like that too if I was stuck on stage with a guy in a bow tie and jeans.
The Penguin People - How many things are wrong here? Two of the slobs didn't even bother to wear ties, one has his jacket undone with the long tie and the only bow tie is twisted. And then there's the penguins. Just shoot me.
Lauren Bacall - OK, she's like 100 years old, so I tend to give her some slack, especially when she looks as good as she does. But a pant suit? Come, on - throw me a bone, huh?
Paul Haggis and Deborah Rinnard - What a dress! With so many boring clothes on the carpet, this just jumped out. The fit is perfect, the body is great and the knecklace is just right. I'd like a little more with the hair, but I won't complain. Haggis needs to dress up, but nobody was looking at him anyway.
Lauren Hutton - The ex-model wanted to show she's still got it, which she does. But not at the Oscars, sweetheart - put on a dress.
Owen and Luke Wilson - I give you this as an example of the difference between a bow tie and a long tie and good grooming and bad grooming. Tux and a bow tie and a razor and comb, baby - that's all we need.
Ludacris - The name says it all. Black tie on black shirt on black tux doesn't work, ever.
Nicole Kidman - A consistant fashion problem and this year was no different. To give her some credit, this is about the best dress I've seen her in in years, but she always goes for the light colors and paleface here can never pull it off. And did you even try with the hair?
Maggie Glyllenhall - Looking rather droopy in earth tones and what is up with the pockets? I like the hair, that's about it.
Michelle Williams - Great dress! A flash of sunshine on the carpet. I don't really like the chifon fringe, but I'll let it go because of the lipstick - just the right color.
Matt Dillon - If anybody can give Clooney a run for his money, it's Dillon. Ageless like Dick Clark and a perfect dresser.
Meryl Streep - Again, looking great, though the dress may be a tad, just a smidge, a tiny bit too tight. But, I loved it anyway.
The Best dressed men? - George Clooney and Matt Dillon with special mention to Samual L. Jackson (Did I just write that?)

The Best dressed women? - Hilary Swank and Deborah Rinnard
Bonus Picture
Just what was this guy from Three 6 Mafia doing in front of millions of people? I bet it went something like this, "Hello, girls!"